Thursday, November 5, 2009

In Honor of No. 27: 27 Reasons to Hate the Yankees

First off, congratulations to the New York Yankees for buy--er winning the 2009 World Series. To commemorate the franchise's 27th World Series title, I present to you my list of 27 reasons why I hate the Yankees.

1. They are a New York team, and as a South Floridian, it is my natural duty to hate teams from New York.

2. They bought themselves this title. You can argue that they have some "homegrown" talent on that team, but combine the contracts of A-Rod, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira and AJ Burnett, and you have well over a half billion spent on bringing guys in.

HGH. Andy Pettitte did admit to using it, people. How soon people are willing to forget that because he won a title this year.

A-Roid. Hey, look! Another guy who took banned substances... and lied about it in a nationally aired interview.

Derek Jeter's "clutchness." I respect that Jeter has been the captain of this team for years now, but I, like many others, am sick of his alleged ability to be clutch. It's overplayed.

This title "christened" the New Yankee Stadium "the right way," and this makes me sick.

Jorge Posada's incessant need to have a conference with his pitcher at the mound. Seriously, it's like after every pitch. Isn't that what the signs are supposed to be for?

Yankees bandwagon fans. This happens when any team wins a title, but the Yankees ones suck even more, because the franchise bought these fans when they spent half a billion on players.

Actual Yankees fans... because they are Yankees fans. Chanting "Twenty-Seven," really?

. Joe Girardi. I have mixed feelings on him because yes, he did take everyone by surprise with the Marlins when he won Manager of the Year. However, he also overused his young pitchers (Josh Johnson and Anibal Sanchez needed Tommy John surgery).

Did I mention they are the Yankees?

. Johnny Damon. I admit, I liked him when he was with the Red Sox (mostly because I used the Red Sox in MVP Baseball 2004, and because he was on the team that beat the Yankees after being down 0-3 in the ALCS). But, to win a World Series with Boston, then to go on over to that teams most hated rivals. That's not cool.

. Yankees fans. They are a step above Philadelphia fans... maybe. Not sure. It's a close call.

Centaurs. A-Rod has a self-portrait of himself as a centaur in his bedroom. That's funny, but it makes me hate him and the Yankees even more.

Those ridiculous boating rope necklaces that AJ Burnett and Joba Chamberlain wear around their necks.

The absurd pricing of seats at the New Yankees Stadium. In general, it's expensive enough for families to attend sporting events, but the Yankees make you put a down-payment of your first-born child to afford tickets... or something like that. Point is, it's way too expensive.

They are the Evil Empire. This point does not need to be elaborated.

The "Aura and Mystique." The Yankees are not Rick James, they do not emanate a mystical aura, and neither does their stadium.

They got rid of one of the best monuments in sports, Yankee Stadium, for a new stadium that looks essentially the same as the old one... minus the history.

Have I mentioned the fans? I did? Well they deserve another mention.

They are in the largest market in sports, so they are forced down our throats on the regular.

They invade the state of Florida every spring for spring training.

The ownership and management. Seriously, the Steinbrenner's and Brian Cashman make headlines more than some lesser MLB teams.

The arrogance. They have won more than any other franchise, and they know it... so they often feel it is their right to win a World Series.

Have I mentioned that they buy their championships? (Just for reference, this Yankees team spent $192 millions this season, while the 2003 World Series Champion Marlins spent just $54 million.)

They are the New York Yankees and I hate them because they faced the Marlins in the 2003 World Series. Even though the Marlins won, it furthered my hatred for the Yankees.

THEY MADE ME ROOT FOR THE PHILLIES! Now I feel dirty, and need to have my soul purged.

1 comment:

  1. Girardi almost ruined Johnson, and I can never forgive him for that.

    Also, the Yankees ejected one fan from the stadium earlier this year because he dared stand up to go to the bathroom during the seventh inning stretch during the singing of God Bless America.

    Then there was the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine was ejected for wearing an Orioles hat in the owner's box. Something tells me that's happened before...

    The new Yankee Stadium looks like the kind of bloated neoclassical arenas made famous by the Third Reich. Coincidence?