Tuesday, July 21, 2009

10 People South Florida Sports Fans Should Hate

All sports fans have certain people that they hate, whether because of a rivalry, or a specific game, or various other reasons. Today, I have for you all a list of ten people that South Florida sports fans should hate, for one reason or another. Tomorrow, I'll bring to you the ten people South Florida sports fans love.

10. Clarence Weatherspoon. "Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass," is what you might be saying to this first pick. A former Heat player leading off the list of people South Florida sports fans should hate? Allow me to explain. This pick comes more from my personal hatred for 'Spoon. In the 2000 Eastern Conference Semifinals, the last of the great Heat-Knicks Rivalry playoff series, Weatherspoon had a chance to win the series in Game 7 in the final seconds, but missed a jump shot, and the Heat lost the series. This is one of my most vivid memories as a Heat fan, and it still baffles me why Weatherspoon (on a team that included Alonzo Mourning, Tim Hardaway, Dan Majerle, P.J. Brown and Jamal Mashburn) ended up taking the final shot in the series for them.

9. Wayne Huizenga. Yes, he did bring baseball and hockey to South Florida, which is the only reason he's not ranked worse on this list. But then there was the huge fire sale after the 1997 World Series before selling the Marlins to John Henry.

8. Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez. Wow, the first three on this list are all one of our own. Let me explain this one. In 2003 the Marlins signed Pudge to a huge one-year deal.

"If everything down the road goes well, I would like to stay with the Marlins."
- Rodriguez, Jan. 23, 2003.
He had a great season that culminated in a World Series. He also is a part of one of the most memorable highlights from that title run, holding on to Jeff Conine's throw to the plate to end the NLDS series against the San Francisco Giants. Anyways, after that season, the Marlins offered him a deal of three years at $7.5 million per year. He declined, and bolted for the Detroit Tigers for four years at $10 million per. He went from a World Series Champion team, to a team that went 43-119 in 2003. To add insult to injury was that Pudge was a homegrown talent, hailing from Miami. Oh, and he has a bronze statue of himself that is over six feet tall, while he stands at only 5'9". In other words, the man thinks he's larger than life, and is what's wrong with sports. He personifies the me-first attitude that fans hate from athletes, and that's why he makes this list.

7. Vinnie Testaverde. He was the QB for the New York Jets. As a Miami fan, do I need more of a reason than that? He did win a Heisman at "the U," but this is a pro football town, and he was also responsible for the Dolphins being on the losing end of "the greatest Monday Night Football game. EVER," in 2000 when he led the Jets back from a 30-7 deficit heading into the fourth quarter. The Jets won 40-37 after Testaverde threw five touchdowns. Did I mention he was the Jets QB? I hate the Jets.

6. Terry Porter. I am by no means a Miami Hurricanes fan, but I can't deny the love that most South Floridians have for them. That's why Porter appears on this list. Who is he, though? He was the official in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl that threw a delayed flag on UM's Glenn Sharpe that gave the Buckeyes another chance to score and subsequently win the 2003 BCS National Championship. UM fans are still bitter about that call today.

5. Jim Kelly. It's hard to put another UM quarterback on this list, but in a town where Dan Marino was Superman throughout his career, Jim Kelly of the Bills was his kryptonite. The Kelly-led Bills knocked Marino and the Dolphins out of the playoffs three times during his career, with the Bills advancing to the Super Bowl (and losing) two of those times. Not to mention the division rivalry between the two teams made those losses even tougher to swallow, especially with Marino finishing his career without a Super Bowl ring.

4. Allan Houston. Houston played for the Knicks at the height of the Heat-Knicks rivalry of the late-90's. That alone is reason enough to throw him on this list. But to top it off, in the 1999 lockout-shortened season, Houston's eighth-seeded Knicks faced the numer one seed Heat in the opening round of the playoffs. The series was pushed to a fifth and decisive game, with the Heat leading with a few seconds left. That's when Houston happened, and hit a running one-hander with .8 seconds left in the game, burying the Heat that season. It was bad enough that the Knicks won the series. What made it a double-whammy was that it was one of the rare occurences where an eight-seed toppled a one-seed.

3. Doug Flutie. Again, not a Hurricane fan, but Flutie's Hail Mary is one of the most memorable plays in history. The fact that it happened against the Hurricanes, in their own house, on national television, makes it even worse. Flutie went on to win the Heisman that year, to boot.

2. Jamie Moyer. He ranks so high on this list because he's an active player, or as active as an old pitcher can be. In 15 career starts against the Marlins, Moyer is 13-2 with a 2.83 ERA. The fact that he pitches for the division-rival Phillies is just icing on the cake. The Marlins can never seem to hit Moyer.

1. Nick Satan Saban. No matter how hard the other sports will try, Miami is and will always be a pro football town, which is why He-who-shall-not-be-named tops this list. What he did to the Dolphins was about as low as it gets. Last I heard, orders are to shoot on sight if he ever tries to return to South Florida.


  1. Dude VOldemort still recruits in Miami...one of my friends that is on the O-Line at Pace High School is going to play for him next year..

    Joe Rose in the morning on the radio always makes annnouncements saying to get your kids away from Saban and dont ever let him in your schoool/house and whatnot.

  2. and for me, personally, i hate Josh Smith..he'd be really high on this list for me

  3. Josh Smith had one series where he was bad to the Heat. If any more recent basketball player belongs on this list, it is Andres Nocioni when he was with the Bulls.