Monday, January 5, 2009

Has Any One Seen Chad Pennington?

We'd like to file a missing person's report for a Mr. James Chadwick "Chad" Pennington. He was last seen on December 28, 2008 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. If seen, please contact the Miami Dolphins organization as soon as possible. Thank you.

Not to be the one to point fingers, but does anyone else think the Jets kidnapped Pennington following last week's game and in his place left the Dolphins with Brett Favre? If not, Pennington certainly put on his best Favre impersonation in the Dolphins wild card game against the Ravens.

But we like to believe that Chadwick is far too good of a person to do that, so we'll stick with our kidnap theory.

All season long the Dolphins committed only 13 turnovers, 7 coming from Pennington interceptions. Against the Ravens on Sunday, the team committed five, with four coming from the arm of Pennington. That's a very Favre-like stat.

After all, the Jets do loathe the Dolphins. Maybe they realized it was a mistake to release Pennington. They would have the motive to pull off such a heist.

As for an alibi? Conveniently, Jets owner Woody Johnson is out of the country, and former head coach Eric Mangini has been nowhere to be seen since Monday, and we're not quite sure this "firing" alibi would hold up in court.

So perhaps Pennington really is missing, and maybe the Jets know his location, but one thing is for sure: the guy who ran the Dolphins' offense today was not the Chad Pennington we have all grown to know and love this year.

Besides, just look at this picture of "Pennington" taken during Sunday's game:

Yes, four, the number of interceptions thrown by "Chad" during Sunday's meltdown.
Certainly looks like Favre. If it looks like Favre, and it throws like Favre, then it must be a Favre.
So New York Jets, please return Pennington to the Dolphins immediately, no questions asked just this once.
Unless, of course, we're barking up the wrong tree with this whole missing person thing. Maybe we should be interrogating Ed Reed. He seems to have made a career out of making good quarterbacks disappear...

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