Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Mets Bullpen Destined to NOT Blow (Saves) in '09

The New York Mets today agreed to a three-year, $37 million deal with closer Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez.

K-Rod, who set an MLB record with 62 saves last season for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim could serve as a much needed remedy for a Mets bullpen that blew 29 saves last season.

With this move, the Mets bullpen is seemingly destined to not suck in 2009. However, they are the Mets, so we believe they will still find ways to blow games.

That being said, here are the five most likely ways the Mets will blow games, and probably a spot in the playoffs, in 2009:

1. The starting pitching rotation, now feeling as though the weight of the world hs been lifted from their shoulders, will have an ERA higher than K-Rod's new annual salary, not even giving K-Rod and the 'pen a chance to save the game.

2. The new Citi Field will be cursed by a construction worker burying a Hanley Ramirez jersey in the conrete structure of the stadium.

3. The MLB's new instant replay policy will backfire against the Mets during key games, showing that shots they thought to be homeruns are actually ground-rule doubles or foul balls.

4. Their starting lineup will fall victim to a series of unfortunate, and rather strange events like in The Simpsons episode, "Homer at the Bat." We can see it happening now: Carlos Delgado will overdose on nerve tonic, resulting in gigantism; David Wright will disappear into the "Springfield Mystery Spot"; Jose Reyes will be knocked out by a drunk at a bar and Johan Santana will think he is a chicken, as a result of a bad hypnotist. And in an ironic turn of events, Pedro Martinez will take Santana back to Martinez's home in the Dominican Republic and use him in cockfights.

5. They're the Mets, they'll find ways to blow games that we can't even fathom at the moment.

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