Tuesday, December 2, 2008

808s & Heartbreak: BCS Remix

Sorry for the recent lack of posts, everyone. We just now awoke from our turkey-induced Thanksgiving comas. Not really, but we were catching up with family and friends the past week. So now that that's done with, we return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Last week, Kanye West's new album 808s & Heartbreak hit stores. Personally, we love the album and the new style. He really switches things up with his singing and tribal-drums-meet-orchestra-pit-beats. Know what else we love? College football. So we've gone to the courtesy of matching up the BCS' top 12 teams with each track off of Mr. West's new album. We list the tracks in order, with each team's BCS ranking in parentheses after the team name.


1. "Say You Will" - TCU (11) and Ball State (12). To quote the chorus of the album's heart monitoresque opening, "Hey hey hey hey, don't say you will, one day you will, I pray you will." That about sums up the Horned Frogs and Cardinals this season, they chose the wrong season to try to crash the BCS party, but perhaps, "one day you will."

2. "Welcome to Heartbreak" - Texas (3). It's like that line, "My Godsister's gettin' married by the lake, but I couldn't figure out who I wanna take." The Big 12 tiebreaker couldn't figure out who they wanted to take, so they looked to the BCS for an answer, and it turned out to be Oklahoma. Welcome to Heartbreak, Texas.

3. "Heartless" - Alabama (1). The one word to describe Nick Saban and his coaching staff, especially after those remarks in the week leading up to the much anticipated game against Georgia earlier this season. (Warning: Video contains some explicit language. Wait for the 1:04 mark for the now infamous "funeral" line).





4. "Amazing" - Florida (4). The best word to describe Florida's offensive blitzkrieg and defensive chokehold on their eight opponents since that loss to Ole Miss back in September. Turns out that that loss could be the best thing that happened to this team all season. It awoke the sleeping dragon. "It's amazing... so amazing..."

5. "Love Lockdown" - USC (5). They held Notre Dame to 91 yards of total offense, only nine in the first half. I don't care if it was against hapless Notre Dame, that's just down right impressive. They're defense has certainly had opponents on Love Lockdown this season, except for that trip to Corvalis, but oh well, they're one win against UCLA shy of a trip to the Rose Bowl, again.

6. "Paranoid" - Ohio State (10). We're pretty sure that coming into this season Ohio State started to doubt their ability on the big stage (see: 2006 AND 2007 BCS Championship game films). We think they were wondering all season what would happen if they went undefeated or had one-loss and were in the thick of things: would voters be hesistant to send them back to the big stage? "Don't be so paranoid... don't worry 'bout it... don't even think about it. You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things." Hey, "a little time out," from the big scene might do you some good in the future.

7. "Robocop" - Oklahoma (2). One word to describe the machine-like efficiency that quarterback Sam Bradford has worked with to run the Sooners offense this season. He's first among BCS conference quarterbacks in efficiency (191.0), second overall. He's thrown for over 4000 yards and nearly 50 touchdowns. No defense wants to meet this Robocop in Miami because they may have trouble trying to stop him now.

8. "Street Lights" - Texas (3). Yeah, we're mentioning the Longhorns here again. We call this a double whammy back where we come from. Appreciate it. All those moments passed in front of you, Texas, just like street lights. What moments, you may ask? How about Blake Gideon's dropped gift-wrapped interception on the play before "the play" that decided the game. Or you could go with the Harrell-Crabtree connection that followed it for the game-winning touchdown. Or better yet, how about this moment: when this week's BCS rankings were released with OU ahead of you. Ouch. "You knew your destination," (the Big 12 title game), "but you're just not there, life's just not fair."

9. "Bad News" - Boise State (9). Congrats to Ian Johnson and Co. You guys went undefeated in the regular season for the third time in five years, and for that we tip our caps to our favorite BCS buster of all time (see: 2007 Fiesta Bowl). Unfortunately we have some Bad News, Broncos, you're likely going to be left out of a BCS bowl this season, despite your efforts.

10. "See You In My Nightmare" - Texas Tech (7). "I might see you in my nightmare, how did you get there?" That's exactly what they're saying to Oklahoma after that shellacking they took in Norman a couple of weeks back. It essentially eliminated them from the Big 12 title game, and a shot at the BCS crown. "And that you (already) know," Tech fans.

11. "Coldest Winter" - Penn State (8). After that last-second loss to Iowa ended JoePa's undefeated season, and a trip to Miami in January, the Nittany Lions are headed to Pasadena to likely face off against USC. Ouch. It's certainly going to be the coldest winter without that BCS trophy, especially after that potential loss to the Trojans. But hey, "memory is made in the coldest winter." These may be some memories that Penn State might want to forget, and quick.

BONUS TRACK: "Pinocchio Story" - Utah (6). Again, a tip of the cap, this time to the Utes, who have completed their second undefeated season in five years. They're currently ranked sixth in the BCS and are probably headed to the Fiesta Bowl in January. You certainly wish you were a REAL boy, don't you, Utah? At least then you might realistically get a shot at the national title. But until then, you'll have to settle for the other BCS bowls.

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