1. Since it’s been reported that Pacman is looking into checking himself into a treatment facility, why not try to catch some good publicity from it? Jones should be a part of Season 2 of VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, which begins airing next week. It’s not like the show has had any strippers or adult film stars that could get Pacman in trouble…. Oh wait, never mind.
2. CFL. This one’s pretty obvious… it worked for Ricky Williams when he was suspended from the No Fun League. I’m sure there’s some team out there that would want Mr. Jones’ services.
3. Meteorologist. C’mon Pacman, we all know you like to “make it rain” on women. Why not make it a part of your daily job. I can see it now...today’s forecast: Slightly stupid with a 100% chance of rainfall!! ::throws c-notes into the air::
This would make local weather much more entertaining.
4. Owner of a “Gentlemen’s Club.” What better idea for you Pacman, you could even call it Pacman’s Palace. It’s got a nice ring to it, no? Just be sure to include the all-u-can-eat lunch buffet, for those businessmen stopping in before very important meetings. Just remember what Chris Rock said, there’s no sex in the champagne room, Mr. Jones. One problem with this endeavor though, you might actually be held liable for anyone getting paralyzed in your club.
5. John McCain’s new Vice-Presidential running mate. You can’t be much worse than the one he’s already got, right?
Hey, he'll be like Obama, and help spread the wealth!
6. Video Games. Develop your own video game. I’m sure NAMCO would have no problem selling you the rights to Pac-Man. Unless. of course, you would rather call it Mr. Jones and try to nix the whole Pacman thing again, for the sake of your good image.