So without further ado....
This photo pretty much speaks for itself.
#5 Florida. Urban Meyer as Turtle.
Aside from the obvious reptile reference with Turtle and Gators... Some say you rode the coattails of another guy (Zook's recruits) to get to where you are today (2006 National title). But you're out to prove that you have some use. Loyal to a fault to your big name player (2007 Heisman winner Tebow), staying behind him no matter what.
#4 Oklahoma. Bob Stoops as Ari Gold.
Year-in, year-out you’ve been on the top of your game for most of the season. Then you inexcusably drop the ball (failing to get Vince a role in whatever movie he wants at the time, or refusing to listen to E, on the off chance that he’s right) by losing somewhere down the line to a school you shouldn’t have lost to (see: 2005 UCLA, 2006 Oregon and Boise State, 2007 Colorado, 2008: TBA).
#3 Penn State. JoePa as Drama.
Your “golden years” (Viking Quest, '82 and '86 National titles) are way behind you, and you probably should’ve been out of work years ago. But lo and behold! You make a comeback just when people begin to remember you more for being beyond your prime than for when you were in your prime. You’ve been given a second chance to resuscitate your career (5 Towns), however, I don’t see it ending well for you.
#2 'Bama. Nick Saban as Vince.
You were the big star a few years ago when you led LSU to a national title (Aquaman). You were the talk of the town, and felt you deserved to do a project of your choice by taking a deal with the Dolphins. But that was an epic failure (Medellin) and you were chased out of town as you took your current position. Now you’re back (in the SEC) and looking to make a name for yourself despite starting the season off of every one's radars with low expectations (a la Vince when he returns to L.A. looking for work).
#1 Texas. Mack Brown as E.
You’ve always played second fiddle to Ari (Stoops) in your own conference, and in the national spotlight. You made it big with a big hit as Vince (Young)'s manager. Now you're up and coming, showing up Ari (see: last weekend’s Red River Shootout) trying to make a name for yourself (The Murphy Group) without Vince (Young).